Last night I could smell smoke hanging in the air in the girls’ room.
We heard the helicopter arrive just overhead as we were finishing our dinner. We ran to the front window, saw the flashing lights to our…
We heard the helicopter arrive just overhead as we were finishing our dinner. We ran to the front window, saw the flashing lights to our right on Smith Street, the chanting crowd: HANDS UP/DON’T SHOOT, HANDS UP/DON’T SHOOT. An unmarked police car parked and pointed the wrong way, just past the BLACK LIVES MATTER chalk letters I drew in the middle of our street at 6:55pm, just before clapping outside using a pizza box as a drum.
A man standing in front of the words, his bike to the side, snapping a pic. He looks up and I send down a peace sign. He holds up his hand to us: hey.
We gotta get out there!, Maewyn says.
— I think we just have to watch for now.
We see an officer run across our street, hopping into the unmarked car and turning it facing the right way, zooms off to cut off protesters on Court, the street that runs parallel to Smith. They are meeting on our corner, still chanting. The air feels good. My neighbors poke their heads out too. We watch.
The cops turn the protesters around, point them towards Manhattan. Pia stays with me at the window. I ask her if she’ll do a prayer with me. I’m gonna say it, I tell her, not actually knowing how to pray out loud. I do the prayer. I ask for peace and justice and safety for everyone. We pull down the screen.
There are so many fires tonight.
I can hear it from here, from the kitchen table. I can hear where I wish I could be — my own privilege keeps me here. Sirens and helicopters all night and I just get to listen. The sound is close enough that I hear the din of voices, the blasts of the cop cars. I hasn’t stopped since I set down to write. I’m finding it difficult to locate words.
In my body, I feel the tangle of nerves around my heart. Worrying hard for every one on the streets tonight. Knowing in that tangle —
[sirens]
— that these things start out peaceful.
That change is absolutely necessary and needed.
I keep dipping into Twitter.
[sirens]
It doesn’t look like my prayer took.
Please.