I am a big fan of snow. Huge. But now, snow? Really?!
A slowing of life right now, right when we have such a need for speed. Oof. It feels like a slap. Instead of the city moving forward, most importantly vaccine delivery and distribution, we sit inside our apartments, looking out at the goddamn beautiful, beautiful snow. And it just keeps coming.
I left the house once today, to walk outside and visit our buried car. I hear one person say to another person: signed copies of her book. I remember outside and outside life and public life. She worked outside the home.
Click. I just heard M’s reading light turn off; the sweetest sound. These kids are real kids now. Something has happened. They are 7 and then some. If I stop to think about it, I could weep. We bought them a monthly membership to an online math video game today. They had begged us to do so for so very long, “This way,” they told us, “if we’re MEMBERS, we can change our hairstyles and buy things in the shop AND evolve our pets!!!” I don’t know. It’s 7 bucks a month. We went for it. They were irrationally happy, basically hyperventilating with excitement about the little cloud that their wizardress avatars float on now that they are MEMBERS. As they began to play, I got under the covers with my clothes still on at 2:30pm and fell asleep until 4. What else is there to do? Rest, revolutionary as it is, still feels disorienting once you wake up.
What helps right now? Laying longways on the big pink pillow. Remembering to drink the whole glass of water. Zillowing for my life, for fun, til the phone falls onto my face because I’m too sleepy to hold it up. This old SNL sketch which made me laugh so hard that I cried. Colbert, now more than ever. Adrianne on Colbert. The radiator that warms up all the wet snow clothes. The record player. Wintering. Fancy candles I bought for myself.