tantrum
I’m running a scam in my own house. I’m actually running a few scams. One of the scams is that I am a great parent doing a super job…
I’m running a scam in my own house. I’m actually running a few scams. One of the scams is that I am a great parent doing a super job. Another scam is a fairy scam. This scam is the one where I took the letter my daughters wrote last night (covered in stickers and drawings, addressed to Neverland) and hid it under the mattress pad on my side of the bed. Now they’re convinced that fairies are coming to visit us. They are now very angry because when they weren’t looking, I hid leaves around the apartment when they weren’t looking and now its backfired and one of them asked me if someone was tricking them. She kept asking over and over and I answered I don’t know! Maybe! The scam was just a way of making some magic or trying to stir up spirits of my own, or my cheap answer the question Are fairies real?, or maybe just to imagine a world in which real real real fairies could visit. I have lived there before. If this was a real real real essay, you’d read all about different fairies and the way they get their wings and what the rules are, but I don’t have time and this is really more of a rant so all you’ll get is the real real real truth that I let my children watch two Disney fairy movies last night, and during one of them, we ate hot dogs while sitting on the floor in front of the television.
I need water. I need someone to bring me water. I’m in charge of dinner tonight. I’m in charge of moving the car. I’m in charge of educating the children. I’m in charge of the reading buddy playdate I will show up for in the cold, cold park. I am in charge of lunch. I’m in charge of attending the zooms/listening to the podcast/participating in the workshop on how to be an accomplice, how to practice self-love, how to soften gently into the wonder of the unknown. I’m in charge of saying no to Thanksgiving over and over til enough articles are written and my feelings are validated by them. I’m in charge of directing and redirecting. I am in charge of the spaces between the tears and the fear and the unknown.
One of the girls has made a fairy landing pad on the table where we’re supposed to being doing schoolwork. Two pairs of Barbie shoes, two tiny buckets of water, a plastic umbrella, two pairs of Barbie sunglasses. Now she’s opening a jar of peanut butter to make them a snack.
If we ever get out, please don’t tell them the truth.